Cavalgada "the diary view, part 2"

So... now you've got some background here's where the story starts to butterfly into perseverance. North Point Pastor man said "When your dreams (expectations) meet reality, choose hope" and talked about how a lot people get stuck in the suffering part. You'd think after the blessing of getting my fridge back for less than I was quoted and surviving a potentially deadly situation damage-free I'd be the most grateful, giving person in the world, right? Nope. I too was stuck in my everyday "sufferings" But this past week something clicked.  Perspective overload. One of the elder members of my church gave me her home number and told me to call her while I was away. So yesterday, I did. As a retired teacher she asked me how it was going and I told her about both the good and the struggles of teaching/living with limited resources. She proceeded to tell me about how when she was little they went to the outhouse. Prospective, right? So I just sat quiet for the rest of the conversation and listened and learned.

There are a lot of little sayings I've heard since being here that I like:

• "Se Deus quizer, e Ele quer" ~Esmeralda (It more or less translates to "God willing... and He is" but it's more tickling in Portuguese)
• "The point of life is to live"
• "If you're depressed you're living in the past, if you're anxious, you're living in the future and if you're at peace, you're living in the present"
• "When we're washing the cups, we're washing the cups"

Now that one comes from a story. A restaurant had 300 year old china. A woman asked how do you still use china that old and the lady said, "When we're washing the cups, we're washing the cups" meaning we're not thinking about the GRE we have to take or bills to be paid.  We're not thinking about the boy who ended things with us. I say this to myself every time I start to feel restless about the past or the future. I also say the famous part of the Serenity prayer almost every day. One of the hardest parts about living here is my U.S. work oriented on-the-go mentalities clashing with my slow pace of life reality. A lot of the time I feel like I'm not doing enough with my life. I don't know who I'm comparing my self to but I just feel like at some point I'm going to be held accountable for "not doing anything" which is what I felt like I was doing most of the time. But this past week I realized that's not true at all. I'm doing a whole lot of something.

My U.S. brain has taught me achievement-based living. A productive day is based on how much a got done on my to do list. Days like the ones I live here in Araguaina I considered rest-days or wasted-days. But I've realized much like the conclusion of my thesis that this is such a U.S. arrogant way of thinking. Like our way is the best way or worse, the only way of living. So what exactly do I spend my days doing?? Well, I teach. That's what I'm here doing for those of you who don't know. Apart from that I spend time with myself doing stuff that you probably don't think/have to do.

1.  I spend a lot of time in transit. Not having a car, I spend a legit amount of time simply walking/riding my bike to and from places.
2. I go to the gym three times a week. I just finished week 10 or a 17 week goal to get myself fit enough to run an hour on the treadmill. Yesterday was 39 mins. Tomorrow, 40.
3. I eat. As I've previously explained the concept of fast-food/to-go simply doesn't exist here. Also my food is prepared fresh everyday so I spend a decent amount of time more than I did back home waiting for my food to cook and sitting at a table.
4. I drink water. It's a minimum of 100 degrees here every day. Everyday. 
5. Therefore, I pee. I literally go to the bathroom between 6 and 8 times a day.
6. I play with the cat. She's bad as hell (yes, she passed heck a long time ago) and super needy. While I still wish she were more like other cats that just sat around I recognize that we are all she has and at the end of the day all she wants is attention and who doesn't want that?
7. Lastly and most importantly, I sit, say hello and goodbye. Here, friends talk to/see each other everyday. If not, they think you're mad at them. I  had to explain my distant nature a couple of times before I got with the calling program. I was already familiar from Chile with having to personally greet every individual in the room including the ones you don't know. Anyways, with seeing/talking to people every 24 hours other than the latest gossip, you really run out of things to say so you just sit.

In my sitting I've realized that I used to move so fast sometimes I didn't even know what day/date it was. More incredible, I liked it that way. It was easier running on auto-pilot with a set schedule that follows the same pattern every week and being able to make appointments and keep them. Now I take time to acknowledge everyday for what it is because God took the time to creative it and predestine it.

Almost home!